A man walks into a bar

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Actually, the man – yep, it was me – walked in an Olive Garden Saturday evening with his family. But just through the glass double doors was a bar, and just above the bar was a behemoth 70-inch TV. And showing on that behemoth was the Baltimore Orioles pre-game show.

So, of course my mind began racing to figure out how I could convince my beautiful wife that she, my two kids and I, should sit at the bar to eat dinner and watch the Orioles.

Seats for four at the bar. Sounds great, right?

Yep.

“Pass the breadsticks!”

“Did you see Manny grab that liner down the third base line?”

Ahhhhh. Is this heaven?

No. It’s Olive Garden…

OK, you’re right. I’ve been with my wife for 26 years now, so it didn’t take me long to realize any persuasive attempts to sit at the bar would be futile and would only end up with her giving me the stink eye. She’s so good at the stink eye.

So, I sucked it up, waited for the black round buzzer with the dancing red lights to fire off and we took a table far, far away from the TV.

I didn’t think too much more about the game for a few minutes until I realized something had been strange about the pregame show. There were no fans in the seats at Camden Yards.

Now, you don’t need to be any sort of sleuth to know something’s up. Could this be a rain out?!?!?!

Wiggling my fingers with excitement like Homer Simpson reaching for a sprinkled doughnut, I reached for my phone to check Twitter. Nothing. I checked my At Bat app. Nothing. And then back to Twitter. Ahhhhhh, there it is: Game called because of inclement weather.

“I’ll have the eggplant parmigiana. And water with no lemon, please!”

 

They’re never, ever, ever getting back together

Well, never say never, but the Yankees and Tigers are finding it difficult to reschedule their April 10 nationally-televised Sunday night game that was postponed by a nasty wintry mix in Detroit.

The difficulty stems from the fact the Yankees are scheduled make no more trips to Detroit this season. According to the Detroit Free Press, the teams have only six mutual off days: April 18, May 2, June 2, July 28, Sept. 1 and Sept. 19.

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